What to do when Networking is Not Working Part 2 of 3

 In Part I of this 3 part series we discussed ways to make networking a more enjoyable experience. We discussed how to develop more contacts. Many women say they don’t have time to maintain those contacts – and without maintenance, contacts will disappear. So, In Part II we discuss ways to efficiently and effectively maintain your network. 

The following are ways to maintain your network even when you don’t have time.  And to be sure it happens, schedule it on your calendar – don’t wait until you just happen to have free-time.  

If you have 1 hour   -         invite a friend out for coffee 

If you have 30 minutes  -         call a friend on the phone  

If you have 15 minutes -         send a handwritten note; (keep cards and stamps nearby) 

If you have 10 minutes-         send a personal email  

And if you have no spare time? The following are ways to increase your network by multi-tasking:

 -         jog, walk or exercise with a friend

-         participate in a charitable event or non-profit organization

 -       talk to people at the soccer game, baseball game, dance lesson

-         talk to people while taking part in your favorite hobby

-         talk on the phone while doing housework or shopping  

-         instant message during an (unimportant) meeting  

The point is, not to make networking a separate event that occurs during specific pre-scheduled times.  Reach out and make connections to people anywhere and everywhere that you already frequent.

But remember the tips from Part I – don’t be quick to sell them your services – be interested in them, cultivate them as your network, and they will in turn recommend you to their friends.

When do I get to use my 30 second commercial?

Some people are confused by my approach to networking – it doesn’t seem to afford people an opportunity to use their “30 second commercial”.  This is frustrating because:

1) We’ve all worked so hard to condense our lives and our business into a 30 second sound byte

2) If we don’t use it, how will anyone ever know what we do?

3) It enables us to turn the conversation over to our favorite topic – us!

To me, the most valuable advantage to developing a 30 second commercial is that it clarifies, for us, what our business is about. It helps us hone in on what is important and unique about ourselves and our business.

But the 30 second commercial is really just an invitation. It’s a tease, to get people to ask us to tell them more. 

We can achieve the same results, more powerfully, by listening to them, engaging in a real dialogue and developing a relationship.

If we want people to label us, categorize us, and add us to their rolodex, then use the 30 second commercial and a business card:

“I’m a business development specialist.  I work with women entrepreneurs to develop and grow their small businesses.  We focus on expanding their customer base, increasing their profit margin, engaging their employees and reducing the time they need to devote to their business. Sometimes the solutions are technical and complex while at other times they are amazingly personal and straight-forward.”

or, if you want to have a real conversation, gain some interesting insights, and perhaps make a new friend, how about:

“I have a business devoted to helping women entrepreneurs achieve greater success. I’m always interested in learning more about the challenges women face in running their own business – could you tell me what a typical day is like for you?”

There’s a time and a place for each of these conversations – the key is knowing when to use each approach and to be prepared and comfortable, regardless.

How to tell a story when networking

Some feedback I have heard on Part I of my networking series, is that people don’t feel they have any stories to tell. They want some examples to get them started.  So, while I don’t  have space to give you the fully fleshed out stories, I will give you some examples I have heard in my own network.   

-         an accountant who was so broke while studying for her CPA exams that she lived in her car for three weeks; luckily she passed and was able to move into a house and use her car for transportation!

-         a dance studio owner that started her business after giving birth to her first child – she didn’t want to leave her in daycare, so instead she took her with her to daycare centers where she taught tap for $1 per student; her daughter always had a variety of children and toys to play with and at 2 years old could tap dance to tea for two!

-         a marketing specialist who lost her job after 9/11; she then hit the streets in her NY neighborhood, developing marketing materials and putting together a neighborhood business directory, rebuilding a sense of community in a fragile time

-         a family doctor in a small Ohio town who had a patient go into labor on the same morning her two children were participating in a music recital 30 minutes from the hospital – and she was the one accompanying them on the piano! She drove to the hospital to check on her patient – then hurried to the recital to play for her daughter, then she raced back to the hospital, delivered a healthy baby and then raced back to the recital, in time to play for her son!  Her children never lost confidence, but her husband sure was relieved to see her show up in time – he didn’t know how to play the piano or deliver a baby!!  

- my own experience with a Nor’easter rainstorm that dumped 13 inches of rain on my small New England town in 8 hours.  The town was declared a disaster area and FEMA came out to check claims.  The FEMA adjuster came to my house, took one look, and said – oh my, this is a disaster!  I said – no – the damage is in the basement – this is my living room – I run a business out of my home – it always looks like this!!!  

The stories can be funny, dramatic, or poignant; the point is to make a connection.  In reviewing these tales, one thing that comes to my mind is that they are all centered on a challenge or struggle of some kind.  Stories of hardship are humanizing and promote bonds.  They create empathy.  Stories of hardship overcome are inspiring. And hardship that is treated with humor is engaging.  It’s okay to exaggerate or poke fun at yourself in the stories. In fact, in networking with women, it is actually more acceptable.  Women tend to connect over similarities, and self-deprecating humor, as opposed to one-upmanship and accomplishment as men do.  

So think about things that have happened to you in your business or life that might make entertaining stories; and the next time you are having a truly bad day – cheer yourself up by thinking about what a great story you’ll have for your next networking opportunity!!!